Dumblydoor

The principal of Hogwarts in the story, everything else about him is hilarously out of canon.

Character description
Dumbledore/Dumblydoor/Dumblydore/Dumbledork/Dumblydum is first seen in the story as an authority figure, patrolling the school hallways on his broomstick and scolding students who break the school rules, said scoldings turn into all-out swearing when he has headaches. In the 80's he was a full fledging prep, hassling goffik students just for being goffs, however in the present timeline he tries to blend in with the goffik trend, speaking with goffik accent, dying his long hair and beard black, wearing Avril Lavigne-themed black robes and painting the Great Hall furniture black over the traditional preppy pink theme. Nevertheless, his attemps at being goffik are deemed as acts of massive poser-ness by Enoby and her friends while being cheered on by the posers on the Griffindor table. Later on, he is discharged of his position as principal by the Mistery of Magic for being too old and having dangerous Alzheimers, and even gets the kancer.

Despite being the only wizard who Voldemort/Volxemort/Voldemint/Volfemort/Volfemrot/Darth Valer fears and constantly chases him off the school, he admits that the only wizard able to stop the Dark Lord/Bark Lord is the super cool and goffik Enoby.